Midlife Metamorphosis, Part Two: The 20-Year Overnight Transformation Plan
Personal Transformation When You're Already Halfway Down the Road of Life
I did a lot of stupid stuff back in the day, living in ways I’m not proud of today.
My guess is many of you did as well (particularly if you were “coming of age” in the 60s-70s). It’s one of the reasons I am writing this series.
From all appearances, we wasted much of our earlier lives with nothing much to show for it. Thankfully, the clarity of hindsight allows us to see this is not always the case.
We can see that personal transformation doesn’t happen suddenly or in a vacuum. It’s like climbing a staircase. We must take each step in its turn to reach the next level.
We are where we are and become what we are based on our lived experiences up to that point. All of it - the good, the bad, and the ugly.
With that being said, certain life transformations do appear to be sudden, out-of-the-blue experiences. We may not understand them when they happen, so we try to make sense by assigning them to randomness or coincidence.
Many, however, refer to the bringing of our experiences and circumstances together in a particular “Eureka” moment as Providence.
I would agree. But, even the hand of Providence (which I believe is the will of Almighty God) is conditioned upon the readiness of the person receiving it.
Think of it this way:
Providence lives at the intersection of Preparation and Opportunity Streets
This may be overly simplistic, but it is how I see Spiritual and/or personal transformation taking place:
When we are properly prepared through the experiences and circumstances that have shaped our lives up to a particular point in time, the opportunity designed to bring them to fruition will present itself.
That does not mean that it is the end-all. While spiritual transformation is a one-time occurrence (our position changes from enemy of God to child and friend of God), spiritual growth and maturity (the constant renewing of our minds) continue until the day we take our last breath and are ushered into the presence of God.
Personal transformation is a constant process that prepares us for greater points of Providential change along the way.
I wrote a piece on this recently making the analogy between salvation and birth in the Portraits of Salvation collection:
In a natural birth, the timing of how and when things are ready is a mystery. The baby has no part in the process other than being the passive recipient. When it is finished, we can see and hear the results of a new life.
The same applies to spiritual birth: We cannot see or understand how it happens, but we can know it has happened because we see and hear the results in a newly redeemed life.
Just like physical birth, our spiritual birth is a one-time event. However, similar to our physical life, our spiritual life is constantly maturing. Also, just as physical/mental/emotional growth happens at different rates in each individual, so it is in our spiritual maturity.
Personal transformation is a constant process that prepares us for greater points of Providential change along the way. While most are minor course adjustments, some are truly life-changing or breakthrough events.
In an April 2023 piece, I wrote about how the progression of experience and circumstances shaped the direction of our family -
More Than Makin' It: The Hand of Providence - Seeing Now What I Couldn't See Then
Many times, not realizing the progressive role that circumstantial experience plays, we would “suddenly” find ourselves in a much better financial position.
With that being said, please indulge a parenthetical Soapbox here for a moment and allow me to articulate both a personal and a general Spiritual Application -
On June 15, 1981, after being Providentially prepared (I did not see it this way until much later) through many people, places, and circumstances and being on the receiving end of many encounters with God's messengers, the truth of the gospel finally became clear as I was once again confronted by a stranger on a street in downtown Omaha, NE.
It was here, in a place I had never been before that I was approached by a man I had never met before. He handed me what I now know to be a Gospel Tract about the salvation of John Newton, the man who wrote Amazing Grace, probably the most well-known hymn in the world.
As a result of what I read, I understood and acknowledged my sinful state, which had kept me from being reconciled to God. I accepted God's gift of salvation and promise of eternal life through His Son, Jesus Christ.
As I wrote in Chapter Seven: The Day That Will Live in Infamy of Coming Home: A Sailor’s Story -
It felt as if a brand new body had been dropped into my skin and that I was a new person (something I later learned was exactly what happened).
“If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature, old things are passed away, behold all things are become new.” 2 Corinthians 5:17
I had been in the Navy for over six years, living as most sailors do (I don't think I need to spell this out for you). Then I traded that life for the “free-spirit” hippy life, doing all the stuff I wasn’t allowed to do in the Navy (I don’t think I need to spell this out either), so this was quite a radical change for me.
It was the beginning of a brand new life - My SPIRITUAL METAMORPHOSIS if you will. The most important Personal Transformation of my life.
I was a new man. I was on a new road.
But I quickly realized it was just the beginning. If you are not fully sure of what I am talking about here, a quick read of the short chapters in Coming Home: A Sailor’s Story over on The Talking Pen will explain the bigger picture.
I had much to learn concerning how this new life would work out.
Soon after, I met my wife, Susan. We married while both of us were in college (I was close to thirty at that time).
By contrast, Susan has been confident in her calling as a teacher/caregiver since an early age. She is a Registered Nurse, a gifted teacher, and a talented musician.
Early on in our marriage, she fulfilled her calling as an R.N. in a family practice residency program where she was able to help primarily economically disadvantaged families learn proper preventive medical care.
After the kids started populating our household, she combined her teaching skills and musical abilities to teach music while becoming a stay-at-home Mom.
Throughout this time, she has also taught and led many children’s programs through the churches we attended. After 42 years, she is still at it.
This is a perfect example of what Dan Miller describes as “fulfilling one's calling through many different applications.”
For me, the road was different.
I started college and graduated with a Business Administration degree simply because I had no clue about the process of properly aligning a vocation with my Potential (skills & and abilities), Personality, and Passion. It just seemed to be the fastest path to finding a job.
Little did I know that even in this, the hand of Providence was silently guiding me.
At the time, I didn't even know I was supposed to have a “calling”. I thought the term only applied to someone going into what most refer to as “the ministry”.
This time in my life was the start of roughly two decades of life on auto-pilot - Asleep at the proverbial wheel.
Fast forward -
Generally speaking, during the auto-pilot years, most families begin adding children and end up with a larger house than needed, newer cars (with bigger payments) than necessary, more stuff than Walmart, and both parents working in jobs they hate to keep up their status (oops, I mean pay the bills).
And there always seems to be more month left at the end of the money, so debt slowly accumulates. Sadly, many Christian families in America today find themselves in this situation.
This is what I believe Romans 12:2 refers to “as being conformed to this world rather than being transformed by the renewing of your mind”. We are called to be “set apart”, living in such a way that does not enslave us to the typical vices and circumstances of life.
To be clear - Even though the application of Romans 12:2 transformation can be applied to all areas of our lives, the primary application is spiritual transformation, without which none of the other applications have relevance beyond this life.
Comfortable Misery
Westerners, in particular, have become mind-numbed mice on a treadmill with no clue where the exit ramp is. We’re mostly miserable but too comfortable to change anything. Someone moved the cheese and we have no clue where to find it.
We are called to be “set apart”, living in such a way that does not enslave us to the typical vices and circumstances of life.
While we have everything we think we want or need, we cannot manage to be content with where we are in life.
Too harsh? Maybe, but true nonetheless.
That is why there are thousands of broken marriages and millions of men and women turning to alcohol, drugs, infidelity, and porn with the hope of satisfaction and contentment.
You may disagree, but I speak from both experience and observation - I believe God is constantly working in our lives to reconcile us to Himself in salvation. Most refuse to believe this. God is a “fairytale” to them.
They miss all the signs and they dismiss those they cross paths with who have experienced personal spiritual transformation as “holy rollers” or “religious nuts”.
So be it. I will wear that badge honorably.
There are those, however, who recognize and respond to God’s offer of spiritual transformation.
And, as said earlier, that is only the beginning. Spiritually speaking - “the Lord is that Spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord. 2 Corinthians 3:17-18.
In other words, it is a continual spiritual transformation.
An Ongoing Process
The point is that transformation in every area of our lives is an ongoing process.
Whether it’s through frustration with our current situation or a moment of clarity and revelation, something sparks the start of a different path that reconciles our spirit to God (if needed) or aligns our purpose and calling in life with our Passion, Potential, and Personality. It doesn’t just suddenly happen.
The sum of our experiences and circumstances continually prepares us for where we are in life in any given moment.
Eddie Cantor, an early 20th-century comedian, actor, and screenwriter, is quoted as saying, “It takes 20 years to make an overnight success”.
What appears to be a sudden revelation or change of direction in our lives is actually the product of years of “under the radar” preparation and conditioning.
So, how does all this fit into our discussion on Midlife Metamorphosis?
In every way. It often takes decades to become aware that we have new understanding, new abilities, new confidence, and a new perspective that will take us in a direction that we see as a perfect fit.
Almost “overnight” we are comfortable in a new role that just days before we were not prepared to do.
It takes 20 years to make an overnight success. - Eddie Cantor
Again, one of the most striking and significant verses of scripture is Romans 12:2 -
“… And be not conformed to this world, but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
So can we really change the direction of our lives simply by what we think?
According to Romans 12:2 the answer is yes. Spiritually speaking, for sure. But also in mental and emotional maturity. Our thinking is changed by what we feed our minds.
What I write here barely shows as a blip on the radar screen compared to the heavyweights who have written on the subject of transformation.
James Allen's As a Man Thinketh and Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich are timeless classics that focus on how thoughts direct our lives! Earl Nightingale recorded his classic, The Strangest Secret based entirely on the premise that “We become what we think about”.
Romans 12:2 is exclusively written from a Christian perspective and it applies to every aspect of our lives. The general principles of personal transformation apply to everyone.
In this collection of essays, however, I specifically address middle-aged Christians because that is the demographic that defines me (although some would say I’m a little North of middle age now).
Many feel trapped in a life void of relevance. Hope is hanging on by a thread. Life seems to be on permanent “auto-pilot” and they can’t see a way to change their circumstances.
They are dissatisfied with life in general. Their marriage is devoid of passion, they are saddled with debt, hate their jobs, live for the weekend, and look forward to the day when they can “retire” (as if that will change everything).
I know this is a long piece and I want to thank those who have stayed with me to this point, so I will end with this thought from motivational speaker, Les Brown -
IT’S POSSIBLE - “You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”
And that is where we must begin if lasting personal transformation is to be achieved – IT IS POSSIBLE.
If you don't believe that, then you will never do more than you are doing now. You will never be more than you are now. You will end up not doing anything because you don't think you can.
Thank you for staying with me in this long piece.
Beginning next week, the focus will be on The Principle of Personal Transformation (what it is) and The Process of Personal Transformation (how it is achieved).
Thank you for subscribing to Life UnCorked where the focus is on successfully navigating the issues of life from a Christian point of view.
While you’re here, check out my creative writing ‘Stack: The Talking Pen, where you’ll find fiction & non-fiction stories, poetry, art, and personal musings that illustrate the struggles, tragedies, and triumphs of life.
This is a really well thought out and informative piece. I wish I had better guidance as a young Christian for all those decisions we make not knowing the direction that they will take us. But here I am and I believe that God is working in me to bring to completion something he prepared me for years ago. A new beginning and a new ministry. Looking forward to reading more in some of the links you included.
As you know I am also sharing my story on Substack now. I hope people will read both. Though we have different storylines, it is the same transformation.