More Than Makin' It
More Than Makin' It
The Hand of Providence - Seeing Now What I Couldn't See Then
When we lived in Tulsa, OK, we had an older neighbor who would always reply, “Oh we’re a makin’ it” when asked how she was doing.
Jokingly, that phrase became a standard reply in our family when anyone would ask how we were doing.
So, what about you? Are you just “a makin’ it” or, are you learning, growing, and thriving in life?
Yesterday’s article got me looking back at my own personal journey. There are a lot of things I see now that I could not see as they happened. You can read that here:
Thankfully, in spite of some foolish pursuits and difficult situations, we “made it” through to a place in life I never dreamed I would be.
No, we’re not “filthy” rich. And don’t even want to be. We are, however, in a place of contentment:
Retired
Writing full-time from anywhere (vs. occasionally when I had the energy after work)
More than enough monthly income
Food on the table
A roof over our heads
My wife and I can travel without worrying about how many “vacation” days I have accumulated.
Not having to schedule everything around a job is so liberating.
Does that mean there will be no further “surprises” in life? Not at all. Unforeseen things happen all the time and will continue until we take our last breath.
But, we have lived enough years and gone through much that has trained us to see beyond just the hardships and trials of life.
There is a benefit in every circumstance.
Much of life consists of things we have no experience with until they happen. We feel as if there is no end and no reference point to grasp. Learning is by “the seat of the pants”.
When we’re in the heat of the fire, honestly, it is no fun. Sometimes it is downright terrifying. Anxiety rules. Tension abounds.
It is at these points that we are most vulnerable.
Marriages are strained and many dissolve into ugly messes. Relationships are ruined, sometimes beyond repair. Bitterness sets in. Despair rules the day.
We see it daily. Many who have no hope simply give up. They turn to drugs, alcohol, and increasingly, to suicide.
Some recover enough to throw their hat back into the marriage ring. Too many times they bring all the baggage from the previous marriage into the new one. And the cycle continues to repeat.
The burden can be enormous.
Thankfully, my wife and I stuck with our vows of “come what may”. We would stick it out no matter what. We purposely did not have an exit plan. There was no built-in back door.
With that mindset, we were forced to seek solutions to seemingly impossible situations. I could write a book about what our kids never knew about.
Are things always great now? A resounding NO. After all, we’re flawed humans. We’re not perfect. We make mistakes.
Sometimes we humans are ruled by physical, emotional, or mental health issues.
The main thing we did, however, was put God at the center of our marriage. Our faith sustained us through many hardships and situations for which we had no immediate answers.
The Bible defines faith as -
… the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen. - Hebrews 11:1
In other words, trust God in the process of life.
Now, you may scoff at that. There was a time when I was skeptical as well.
However, much sound wisdom for life can be found in the Bible. There are basic principles that even a skeptic can benefit from.
My sincere hope and prayer is that the good from those benefits will open your eyes to the truth of God’s love. (Please contact me if you want to respectfully debate this point or if you have genuine questions).
Do you despise the riches of His kindness, and the forbearance and long-suffering, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance? - Romans 2:4
Hindsight shows us a lot of things we simply could not understand at the time.
There were many times that I thought, financially speaking, we weren’t going to make it.
But, then we did.
I could write a book about what our kids never knew about.
Many times I would pray about a situation, not knowing which direction to take. Somehow, a clear path would emerge.
I can remember thinking at times “Was this it” for our lives. Were things never going to get any better?
Yet, somehow, we always seemed to “make it”. We just kept doing what we knew to do and little by little things improved as we learned how to be resourceful.
Much of the time, the improvements were so gradual that they were not noticed until years later.
Many times, not realizing the progressive role that circumstantial experience plays, we would “suddenly” find ourselves in a much better financial position.
Without even being aware, we utilized our learned resources to improve our living situations without going into debt over our heads.
Looking back from where we are now, it is hard to believe how blessed we really are.
Much of the time, the improvements were so gradual that they were not noticed until years later.
I am a big believer in Providence.
My working definition of Providence is -
“Providence is where preparation and opportunity meet.”
The bottom line is that if you are not prepared, you won’t be able to take advantage of opportunities when they present themselves. This takes discipline.
There is always some risk involved in anything we endeavor to do. But, if we are prepared, that risk is minimized.
One thing I have learned over time is that most circumstances are built upon previous circumstances. Once we have a good grasp on things at one level, we will have the confidence to take that next step.
I can look back now and see how certain things needed to happen in order for future things to happen.
Examples of Providence:
By 1990, I had a total of 11 years of active and reserve service in the Navy. Then I had 13 years of complete separation. In 2003, while managing a staffing service branch, I met a young enterprising Navy Reserve recruiter. When he found out my story, he said that the wars in Iraq/Afghanistan required many reservists, and if I could put 9 more years in the reserves before age 60, I could come back in. At that time, I was 50. So that is what I did and retired at 59 1/2 with a pension and lifetime healthcare/medical benefits for me and my wife. If I had not had 11 years of previous service and if I had met that recruiter just a few months later, neither of those things would have happened. Providence?
Reentering the reserves required that my security clearance be reinstated. When I was in Iraq, I met many retired military members who now worked as DOD intelligence contractors. I learned from them about that line of work. So, when I got back to the states, that’s what I did for the next 14 years, retiring in January 2023. Again, none would have happened except for going to Iraq and meeting those contractors, which was all predicated upon rejoining the reserves. Providence?
Contracting work gave our family the opportunity to move back to South Carolina after 23 years of being gone, (a company paid move). After 2 years working for a particular company at Wright-Patterson AFB in OH, a similar position opened at Shaw AFB, SC. This is something we had always planned to do. If I hadn’t gone to work for that particular company, I would not have known about the job at Shaw AFB, which was built upon everything above that preceded it. Providence?
After our move, a recommended realtor showed us a foreclosed property (3000 sq ft house on five wooded acres) just 5 minutes from where I worked that we got for a song. The house was in great structural shape. All it required was some “elbow grease” to clean it and some fresh paint. We were able to build a studio building for my wife’s music-teaching business right on the property. Without the paid move from OH to SC, we would not have bought that particular house at that particular time. All preceded by everything that happened above. Providence?
After 11 years, and because we were resourceful in paying down the mortgage, we were able to sell that property for a very nice profit when I retired and we moved to the Upstate region of SC to be near family. The home we bought is approximately 2500 sq. ft. and sits on 2.5 acres and overlooks the Blue Ridge Mountain range. Houses in our area rarely come up for sale and most are priced way above what we were comfortable with. This property just “happened to become available” at the same time we began seriously looking. With the sale of our previous house, our mortgage on this house is very doable in our retirement. The previous owners even left the Dixie Chopper Zero-turn mower - making mowing fun again. We were able to do this because of everything above that preceded it. Providence?
I could go on but I hope you are getting the picture.
We are so grateful each day to be “a makin’ it”.
After many years of living away, it is a great blessing to be close to family, including most of our grandkids.
Just to be clear, I did not write this piece to brag on “how well we have done” or to step on anyone’s toes.
I understand that sometimes circumstances can overwhelm families and there are things that families face that we haven’t.
But, generally speaking, we are the “average” family.
As a matter of fact, I’m as shocked at all this as anyone. Throughout most of our married life, I had no clue that we would be in this position now.
All I can do now is look back and see how one thing led to another, then another, and now here we are.
But, as Providential as things may have been, it didn’t just happen. If we had not been diligent and disciplined in learning from the past and applying what we learned to prepare for the future as best we knew how, things would have turned out much differently.
Each life circumstance is different, so I wouldn’t expect everyone’s experience to be exactly the same. However, if we become students of life circumstances, we can see more clearly where we could be down the road.
As always, thank you so much for reading and supporting Life UnCorked. While you’re here, check out my creative writing ‘Stack: The Talking Pen, where you’ll find fiction & non-fiction short stories, serials, poetry, art, and a short memoir.
