Which Way . . .
We are so wired to focus everything we do toward achieving a certain outcome (Goal).
Losing weight.
Achieving a certain grade.
Winning a game or a season.
Completing a book.
You name it and we make it a goal.
This is almost universal and it almost never works.
Why is it that goal setting is so disappointing and discouraging?
So many times we set a goal, maybe achieve it, and then end up back in the same place as before.
As my son, Josh, and I have been working through James Clear’s book, Atomic Habits, in our Morning Coffee time, things that I never considered before have become clear to me.
Yes, I know that habits are an integral part of doing the things we do.
What I didn’t know was why, even with incorporating a certain pattern of habits into my daily life, I would still not achieve lasting results.
Three Levels of Habits
Mr. Clear explained that there are not just one set or level of habits, but three.
Outcome-based habits
Process-based habits
Identity-based habits
Most of us focus only on outcomes (goals).
He goes on to say,
Outcomes are about what you get. Processes are about what you do. Identity is about what you believe . . . All levels of change are useful in their own way. The problem is the direction of change.
Outcomes-based habits focus on changing our habits based on what we want to achieve.
Identity-based habits focus on “who we wish to become”, according to Mr. Clear.
Even the intermediate Process Habits are geared toward outward results vs. inner changes. This is something I had never considered before.
Implementing habits that fundamentally change who we are or who we wish to become will ultimately allow us to achieve lasting outcomes.
He gives some examples. When we identify as someone who is “terrible at math” or “I’m not a morning person”, or umpteen other self-beliefs, these are basically self-fulfilling prophecies.
We Are Who We THINK We Are . . .
Earl Nightingale focused on this in his famous recording, The Strangest Secret -
We become (are) what we think about
In other words, our focus should be on who we are or wish to be, not what we want to achieve. Achievement should be the outflow of who we are.
Identity is a huge factor in achieving lasting results. When we view who we are as a result of what we do, the changes are superficial and usually do not last.
Our actual identity is often not even considered as to why we do certain things or behave in certain ways.
However, when we understand that our identity is the driver of the outcomes in our lives, we gain a much clearer picture of why we do the things we do.
This is important because once we have this knowledge, we can work on building new identity-based habits with the corresponding results.
Examples given in Atomic Habits - we think of ourselves as:
Punctual vs. Always late
A morning person vs. night owl
Someone who wants to quit a bad habit vs. someone who doesn’t do that bad habit (I want to quit smoking vs. I do not smoke)
I’m good at (fill in) vs. bad at (fill in)
Your Inner Mirror
James Clear reiterates the theme that “What you do is an indication of the type of person you believe yourself to be” over and over throughout the book.
Our identity is the result of our habits (at all levels). Change, Mr. Clear says, “is a simple two-step process:”
Decide the type of person you want to be
Prove it to yourself with small wins (habits)
What type of person do you want to be? What are your principles, values, beliefs? What needs to change?
Instead of asking what outcomes you want, focus on the type of person that you need to be in order to get those outcomes. What would that person do?
Systems of Habits
Then create a system of habits consistent with who that person is.
For a long time, my goal has been to be a writer.
But, instead of thinking of myself as a writer (identity-based), I would always think of myself as someone who wanted to write (outcomes-based).
The results was that I would start maybe a blog or write a chapter or two toward a book idea. Then I would quit as other things took priority.
All because I did not identify as real writer. It was just a hobby that I dabbled at occassionally.
So, here are some takeaways from today’s study:
Lasting habits are about who we are, not what we achieve
Focus on who, not how
We “become our habits”
Decide the type of person you want to be, then create habits to support that decision
Habits are powerful, so be very careful when cultivating them
Behavior that is not in line with who we are will not last
As always, thank you for reading Morning Coffee on UnCorked. Feel free to join the discussion in the comments below.
I encourage everyone to pick up a copy or download the audio version of Atomic Habits by James Clear.
It will change the way you do life . . .