Stage Two of a Long Paradigm Shift
“You’ll thank me one day.”
He was right, but that particular day I couldn’t see how.
Once a month, each Branch Manager met with our Regional Vice President to go over the previous month’s “numbers”.
This month was no different. It started out just as the other months. Number of client acquisitions, retentions, and revenue growth (based on #s of employees we were able to add to their operations).
The Turning Point
After a cursory look at all that, the focus became personal.
My boss, for whom, in the five years I had worked for him, my respect had grown exponentially, put his pen down, took a long sip of coffee, and just stared at me for what seemed like an eternity.
I could see the gears of his mind turning as he carefully considered how to begin the next part of our conversation.
Spiritually, he and I were like two peas in a pod. Both of us are committed followers of Christ. And we loved to talk about how God was using us and blessing us.
Bob had been a college football star and went on to play with the Baltimore Colts for 10 years. They had played in two Super Bowls, winning one of them (1971) during his time there.
The man was so humble that I never knew any of his football background until after two years of working for him, when someone else had mentioned it.
Besides my father-in-law, he was the most disciplined man I had ever met.
Just to give you an idea, when he was in his 60s, he taught himself Spanish and became so fluent that he preached to the Hispanic inmates in the nearby prison.
And yet, his personality was so infectious. He loved life, serving others, and teaching success principles whenever he had the opportunity.
So, what happened next was unexpected, but not a total surprise.
The talk that changed everything
After that long stare, he got this slight grin on his face and asked point blank, “Cork, you’re not enjoying this job any longer, are you?”
It was as much a statement as a question.
It was that evident. He could read me like a book. So, I told him the truth.
“You’re right, but you already knew the answer to that”.
After he acknowledged that, we went on to talk about how we do our best when our values, interests, and skills align.
This was what I referenced in the previous article as “another whole body of knowledge” that was beginning to dawn on me.
I knew what was coming next.
Toward the end of our “talk”, Bob said, “Cork, I like you a lot. I’ve enjoyed our times together. You have so much talent and ability that is being wasted in a job that you don’t enjoy.
“But, you and I know that we work for a huge corporation and they don’t look at anything but the numbers.
“Your numbers are not where they should be and haven’t been for a while now.
“I don’t have to do this, but because of our friendship, I’m not going to outright fire you.
“I’ve already arranged with HR to consider this a layoff, dated two weeks from now. I have also arranged a severance bonus.
“That way you’ll have money to take care of your family while looking for work more aligned with who you are.”
I knew he was sticking his neck out for me.
Basically, he had just told me that my “number” was up in a way that reminded me of the song, Killing Me Softly, made popular by Roberta Flack. Hence the title of this article.
After a 13 Year Vacation - A New Door Opened
In 2003, after a 13-year hiatus, I rejoined the Navy Reserve.
I had gotten to know a young Navy recruiter who was always at the job fairs I would attend to find suitable employees for our clients.
One day, after he had gotten to know my military background (11 years total), he approached me and said, “You know, Cork, that with the Iraq war kicking in, we need a lot more reservists in your specialty (Signal Intelligence or SIGINT).
“If you can put nine more years in before you turn 60, you can come back in and retire with a 20-year pension and lifetime medical benefits for you and your wife ”.
As a follower of Christ, I believe fully in Providence, not coincidence.
I knew in my heart that this was God telling me, “This is the way, walk in it” just as he told the Prophet Isaiah so long ago (Isaiah 30:21).
So that’s what I did.
Two years later, I was sitting in that turning-point meeting with Bob.
For the next two years, I marketed title insurance ( a soft sell), did real estate closings, and went to my monthly reserve weekends.
Working for the title company was also a job that I enjoyed as I got to exercise my passion - writing.
On my own, I created and wrote a 4-page monthly newsletter for our own clients. The company owners liked it so much that they wanted it to be distributed to all the branches, across three states.
In late 2006, the company ended up closing most of their branch offices, including ours.
Out on the street again - but, thankfully, this was a short street.
At this point, another significant piece of my journey began to take shape in my life - beginning with an all-expense paid trip to IRAQ.
To this day, I am forever grateful to my former boss, Bob Vogel, for that life-changing talk.
In part three of this story, I’ll detail the doors that the Iraq experience opened up and how it led me to where I am today.
Things I learned by this point in my life:
Things happen for a reason, not by happenstance.
There are many providential waypoints on our path through this life - most never see them.
There is good in every turn of events if we look for it and the many people who have our best interest in mind.
We are to be an active participant in the process of opening the doors placed before us - passivity gets us nowhere.
At every step of the way, we are being shaped, trained, and prepared for something greater - we must recognize the process.
The alignment of our 3P’s (Passion, Potential, and Personality) is the ultimate goal for our life’s work.
Even though some get this earlier than others, age is no excuse for quitting - Never never, never give up.
As a prolific writer, Tim Denning, asked recently, “Would you rather lose 2 years of your life pursuing something that may not work, or 20 years of your life by not doing something that might?” (I’m paraphrasing here because he writes so much that I couldn’t locate the exact quote).
Some questions to ponder:
What are your thoughts on all this?
Do you recognize the providential waypoints along your path?
Are you still anxious about your circumstances or have you learned to be patient and trust the process?
Have you been an active or passive participant in the process?
I would love to hear your comments about the things you’ve learned in this journey called life.
Until next time, friends . . .
Love the story, Cork. I agree. We all are placed where we are and when we are for a purpose and, whether we recognize it or not, there are reasons for everything in life - even those that seem like dramatic set backs. For Believers the Spirit is always there with the gentle prompts, reminders, and directional nudges. The challenge is to have your heart and mind quiet enough to be responsive to the intuition provided. I am working on that. It is always good to reflect on the roads already traveled and ponder the things that have happened along the way.